PLANETARY COUNCIL. A SATIRICAL FARCE IN THE ASTEROID BELT. © Paolo Bolzoni, July 2023 A surreal conversation among the Presidents of the Planetary Federation "At the Edge of the Galaxy". Dedicated to all people who suffer and die due to the injustices and the horrors inflicted by mankind. Plot Planet Gaia/Juno had been plagued for centuries by overpopulation, pollution, misery, bestial violence, and 20 billion fools who lived only for Fakebook. After the first space travel, mankind began to establish colonies on all the other planets in the solar system Sol, an insignificant yellow star at the edge of the galaxy, to escape from the hell of Gaia. The colonies prospered and gave birth to a new mankind. The Planetary Council, chaired by Zeus, holds an extraordinary meeting to decide what to do with the inhabitants of Gaia.
All the Presidents of the member planets are present. Invited as observers, are the President of the planetoid Hades/Pl...
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De Genus Discrimen - On Gender Discrimination What Did Philosophers Say? Gender discrimination plagued mankind since the dawn of civilisation. Fuelled by ignorance and prejudice, religion played, and continues to play the starring role. In the three monotheistic religions, God is male, the Father, He has a son. 'Bacchus, Tobacco and Venus reduce man to ashes.' This old say is not funny, it is an insulting stereotype to women. At its best, it implies that women are maintained by men, for they are too stupid to contribute to the family. At its worst, it implies that women are toys to buy for pleasure. In this essay, I’ll take you through Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, Ancient China, Ancient India, Ancient Israel, Ancient Islam, the Low Middle Age, the Rinascimento, the 17th, 18th (the Enlightenment), 19th, 20th and 21st century, to discover how philosophers dealt with racial discrimination. Starring Socrates, The Greek Atomists, Democritus, Pl...
De Discrimen Gentis - On Racial Discrimination What Did Philosophers Say? Racial discrimination plagued mankind since the dawn of civilisation. Fuelled by ignorance and fear, religion played, and continues to play the starring role. In a German-language letter to philosopher Eric Gutkind, dated 3 January 1954, the physicist Albert Einstein wrote: “The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation, no matter how subtle, can (for me) change this.... For me, the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions . And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people.... I cannot see anything “chosen” about them.” It is a great comfort to see that, with ...
You Tube House of Commons, House of Lords House of Commons, House of Lords Soundtrack “Porta Romana” Underworld Milanese song, XIX century © Paolo Bolzoni, 24 June 2023 House of Commons, House of Lords Where scoundrels lie across the board Promises first and then all the harm Where lies reign supreme told with charm In the Commons Cruella takes the occasion She pretends to save Britain from invasion But she's actually obsessed by hate Chases migrants away and locks the gate In the Lords a Russian oligarch His title comes from bribes, he is a shark And a Baroness, her name is Money A House filled with cheats is not so funny He was a thief and a tax evader before Now he's a Senior Minister with much galore The House Speaker holds a bell Whenever he rings it it’s to stop the hell The Bar of the House is a vicious nest The Home Secretary is the wildest pest Seven and seven and seven make twenty one The snipers are never caught not even one Parliament is built of ancient stones...
YouTube NURSES ARE ALRIGHT NURSES ARE ALRIGHT FROM ME TO ALL ANGEL NURSES Transposition of Jesus Christ Superstar "Everything's Alright”. By Sir Tim Rice and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, 1970. © PAOLO BOLZONI, 6 February 2023 (Nurses) Try not to get worried Try not to turn on to Problems that upset you (oh) Don't you know Nurses are alright Yes nurses are fine And we’ll take care of you tonight Let us look after you tonight If you try you’ll get by So forget all about your pain tonight Nurses are alright Yes nurses are fine Sleep and we shall soothe you Calm you and assist you Love for your fear and pain (oh) Then you'll feel Everything's all right Yes everything's fine And you are safe and our care’s sweet For the pain in your head and heart Close your eyes Close your eyes and relax Think of nothing tonight Everything's all right Yes everything's all right yes (Patients) Nurses your sacrifices Long days and nights on the ward Must be rewarded and prais...
YouTube Montecitorio bello, Palazzo Madama Montecitorio bello, Palazzo Madama Trasposizione di “Porta Romana”, anonimo milanese, diciannovesimo secolo. La trasposizione include anche strofe aggiunte alla versione originale. © Paolo Bolzoni, 15 maggio 2023 Montecitorio bello, Palazzo Madama Ci sono i farabutti che ve le fanno Prima le promesse e poi fan danno Dove la menzogna regna sovrana Alla Camera c’è una bionda fatina Ora fa la brava ma prima era missina Il suo vice è Matteo Salvini Caccia i clandestini fuori dai confini Al Senato c’è un siciliano Se voti a destra ti bacia la mano Han votato anche Berlusconi È proprio un mondo pieno di buffoni Prima faceva il ladro e poi l’evasore Adesso è sottosegretario e senatore Sullo scranno del Presidente c’è una campana Ogni volta che la suona è una buriana La buvette è un gran serraglio La bestia più feroce è il segretario E sette e sette e sette fanno ventuno I franchi tiratori non li becca mai nessuno Piazza Montecitorio è tutta a s...
YouTube I SAW A KING I SAW A KING A Coronation Special © Paolo Bolzoni, 13 May 2023 I saw a king sitting on a stone In a church built in a time long gone Unnaturally dressed in mystic clothes Stood in what tradition for him chose For he’s used to the comfort of a proper throne An archbishop buzzing like a bee Forced the king on his knees The clergy carrying his gown Whispering “try to calm down” As Charles was not quite at ease Orb, sacred vestments baton and swords Solemnly carried after being 70 years stored The Masons watched in disbelief It’s our copyright! they sobbed in grief For what the king did on his own accord The archbishop took a red book Not the Firm’s chequebook “Bible” was written on its cover Charles had hardly time to recover Before swearing with a solemn look I swear to defend the faith, said the king For that’s a holy thing Worry not, it’s not a wraith Provided it’s the Anglican faith Salvation to Britain it will bring I know Anglicans are in a s...
Che bello! Trasposizione di “Che bello!” I Gufi, 1967 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iond3XDaB28 Che bello quando la mamma Mi ha aperto un libretto di risparmio Mettevo da parte le mance E le versavo in banca Adesso ho cento conti In tante diverse banche Io mi devo difendere Dal banchiere che ruba i miei soldi Che bello sarebbe investire Con la coscienza a posto Un paio di solide azioni Dieci buoni del tesoro Invece oggi le banche Speculano fino a fallire E i banchieri sono a piede libero Dopo avertelo messo in quel posto Che bello quando la borsa Era il regalo per la mia mamma E con un mazzo di fiori Le facevo tanti, tanti auguri Oggi invece la borsa È una tana per fare scommesse Con soldi dei clienti truffati E milioni finiscono poveri in canna Che bello quando le banche Prestavano soldi a chi voleva investire Il banchiere valutava attento E avanti col tuo investimento Oggi invece la banche Quando vuoi comprare la casa Ti ipotecano la vita e se sgarri una rata devi rifugiarti in un ...
Il 21 aprile, Il Presidente del Senato Ignazio La Russa ha dichiarato: “Nella Costituzione non c’è l’antifascismo.” Dopo le tante polemiche, ha rincarato la dose: “Non mi pento, riaffermo che nella Costituzione non c’è l’antifascismo.” Affermazione terrificante! Tutte le critiche, pienamente giustificate, da parte della stampa e da tutti i partiti politici, deputati e senatori, non hanno accennato alla cosa più ovvia: COSTITUZIONE DELLA REPUBBLICA ITALIANA Disposizioni Transitorie e Finali XII “È vietata la riorganizzazione, sotto qualsiasi forma, del disciolto partito fascista.” Il Presidente del Senato è la seconda carica della Repubblica, e, in caso di gravi impedimenti del Presidente Mattarella, potrebbe essere chiamato in qualsiasi momento a sostituirlo. Articolo 86 della Costituzione: “Le funzioni del Presidente della Repubblica, in ogni caso che egli non possa adempierle, sono esercitate dal Presidente del Senato.” Il Presidente della Repubblica è il GARANTE della ...
QUI SIAMO SEPOLTI PER SEMPRE / LA BALLATA DEL MILITE IGNOTO I Gufi, 1968, di Lino Patruno - Walter Valdi I Gufi sono una leggenda del cabaret milanese https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IELrgXUwmBA Questa meravigliosa poesia rende omaggio al milite ignoto. Soldati che sono morti in tutte le guerre, combattendo una guerra che non avevano chiesto. Non importa se fossero i nemici o le vittime. Sono solo cenere, sono morti per guerre troppo spesso inutili. Oggi il mondo vede la guerra in Ucraina, iniziata dalla Federazione Russa. Il mondo è testimone delle orribili atrocità e crimini commessi dalle forze armate russe. Il mondo è testimone della guerra nello Yemen, dei genocidi in Africa e in Asia. I loro leader non hanno mai ascoltato questa poesia. È giunto il momento che lo facciano. TESTO DI LUIGI LUNARI Qui siamo sepolti per sempre; e per noi il mondo si è fermato quel giorno; qualcuno ci ha pianto, qualcuno ogni tanto ci ricorda ancora. Ma a pochi passi da qui, a pochi passi ...
HERE WE ARE BURIED FOREVER - THE BALLAD OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDER I Gufi, 1968, by Lino Patruno - Walter Valdi I Gufi are a legend of Milanese cabaret https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IELrgXUwmBA This wonderful poem plays a tribute to the unknown solder. Solders who died in all wars, fighting a war they did not ask for. It does not matter whether they were the enemies or the victims. They are just ashes, they died for wars too often unnecessary. Today, the world faces the war in Ukraine, initiated by the Russian Federation. The world witnesses the horrifying atrocities and the crimes committed the Russian armed forces. The world witnesses the war in Yemen, genocides in Africa and in Asia. Their leaders never listened to this poem. It’s high time they do. TEXT BY LUIGI LUNARI Here we are buried forever; and for us, the world stopped that day; somebody mourned us, somebody still remembers us from time to time. However, a few steps from here, a few steps from where the others say ‟...
CRYPTO FRAUD TRANSPOSITION FROM “LILY THE PINK”, THE SCAFFOLD, 1968 © PAOLO BOLZONI, 3 February 2023 Oh crypto, crypto, crypto The currency fraud, fraud, fraud Get rid of it, sell it to fools It’s not legal tender, there are no rules It’s just a currency of doom Do you speculate in cryptocurrencies? Did you win, or did you lose? Do you sleep, or are you bruised? Please watch. CRYPTO FRAUD
GAVDIVM PHILOSOPHIAE - The joy of philosophy ESNE CVPIDVS COGNITIONIS? - Are you eager for knowledge? Then, philosophy is for you! Philosophy (from Greek: φιλοσοφία - φιλεῖν “to love”, and σοφία “knowledge”) is the love of wisdom. Don’t be put off. Philosophy is about the systematised study of general and fundamental questions, such as those on existence, the meaning of life, reason, knowledge, values, religion, logic, politics, economics, science and maths, sociology and language. Philosophy is about life, about you. How often have you reflected on these fundamental issues? How often have you a clear stand, but you find it difficult to express it in words? The philosophers are not really different from you, it’s what they did for thousands of years, in all civilisations. Only, they have documented their thoughts (mostly) in writing. Just a few examples: monumental treaties (Aristotle, Avicenna, Kant, Hegel), dialogues (Plato, Galileo), dictionaries (Voltaire), letters and diaries (Aug...
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO PAOLO © Paolo Bolzoni, 10 January 2023 I was once sitting on top of a hill next to Jesus. He was telling the parable of the chap in Downing 10 who spends his time misleading Britain. I told Jesus: “Forgive him Lord, for he is just a Conservative, he does not realise what he does and says”. Jesus turned to me and said: “You just pulled words out of my mouth. Let’s have a pint, mate”. In the pub, everyone looked and pointed at me (of course nobody knew Jesus, he was not a resident in the pub), but nobody dared to look at and speak to me. I told Jesus: “See old boy, they are Rishi’s Cabinet puppets, they just turn a blind eye and keep their mouth shut”. Amen
LONG LIVE CHRISTMAS, © I GUFI, 1966 I Gufi are a legend of Italian cabaret. I wish you all the joys of the season. May the festivities be a celebration of joy and love, and may they bring hope for a better 2023. Please read the lyrics. Don’t waste your money with useless presents, consider helping those who need it. And, give your dears the most beautiful and valuable of all presents, your love! ***** To my dad two ties, even one was enough to sync He didn't even wear the one I gave him last year To my mum, special long gloves in black silk Yes, but I'd have to convince her to go out and cheer Long live Christmas We love each other New Year’s coming soon Happy New Year Then the Epiphany will come Takes all holidays away Then the Epiphany will come Takes all holidays away For you a sporty scarf with a perfume and two LP’s OMG, what a blunder, you don't have a record player You gave me a black coat, it has a long tail I can't even change it, it was a winter sale Long live...
FOUR-MINUTES LONG STANDING OVATION FOR PRESIDENT SERGIO MATTARELLA. Yesterday, 7 December 2022, Maestro Riccardo Chailly inaugurated the 2022/2023 season at La Scala in Milan, and conducted Modest Mussorgsky’s “Boris Godunov”. Upon his entrance to the “Royal Box”, the President of the Italian Republic Sergio Mattarella was welcomed by a four-minutes long standing ovation. The audience, 2,000 selected guests (politicians, artists, Nobel Prize winners, musicians, journalists, etc.) kept on shouting ‘“GRAZIE PRESIDENTE” and “BRAVO”. Next to President Mattarella, you can see the President of the European Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, the Lord Mayor of Milan, the President of the Italian Senate and the Italian Prime Minister. Immediately after, Maestro Chailly conducted the Italian national hymn AND the European Union hymn. To remind you, President Mattarella was re-elected on 29 January 2022, after SEVEN voting rounds, where none of the candidates received the required vote quorum...
THE SCHRÖDINGER'S CLOWN QUIZ © Paolo Bolzoni, 3 December 2022 THERE IS A CLOWN AT DOWNING STREET NUMBER 10. Curious? Take a couple of minutes to take this quiz... Please note: 1. You are NOT required to give your e-mail address. Please ignore the “*Required” message in red on the top of the quiz. 2. You do NOT need a Google account, nor have you to register to any account. 3. You will take the quiz on an entirely anonymous basis. 4. You will be the only person who gets feedback and see the score result. 5. You can repeat the quiz as many times as you like. 6. Please encourage your friends to take the quiz. All you have to do is to send them the link below. And, 1. All questions which require a mandatory answer are marked with the asterisk * 2. The quiz is divided into short sections. You must answer all mandatory questions to proceed to the next section. Good luck and have fun. May the Britons save Britain! TAKE THE QUIZ
The Prime Minister’s Top Secret Number 10 Private WhatsApp Group Chat. Strictly confidential. Idiots Only. © Paolo Bolzoni, 3 November 2022. With thanks to Private Eye Magazine for the idea. All characters were members of this Cabinet of Fools at the time of writing, 3 November 2022. All they need are lies, da da da da da All they need are lies, da da da da da All they need are lies, lies, And they’ll vote for us! 🤪 All adults have left the group. Rishi: Our Father who AM in Heaven; Hallowed be my name; My lies come; thy will be done on Earth As I do in Downing Street 10. All: amen. Larry: any rat around here? Rishi: Nope, they’re all on-line. Cruella: the plane to Rwanda can’t take off. Heavy payload in the cattle cargo. Rishi: steady on, Creepy. Starve them for two weeks, and try again. Akshata: brilliant, luv. Jeremy Hunt: we can pay for the fuel with money we save on feeding them. Cruella: 😂 🤪 👍 Rishi: what about scrapping the NHS? We can afford private health care, tough for t...
NOTHING'S ALRIGHT Transposition of “Everything's alright” Jesus Christ Superstar, 1970, by Sir Tim Rice and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber © Paolo Bolzoni, 24 October 2022 Try not to get worried, try not to turn on to Problems that upset you, oh Don't you know Nothing's alright, no, nothing's fine And we want you to sleep well tonight Let the world turn without you tonight If you try, you’ll get by, so forget all about Rishi tonight Nothing's alright, no Nothing's alright, no Sleep while the Cons hurt you Dream while they ruin you Valium for your confused heads, oh Then you'll feel Nothing's alright, no, nothing's fine And it's cool and lies are sweet For Richi’s mates who profit of it Close your eyes, close your eyes And relax, forget Rishi tonight Nothing's alright, no Nothing's alright, no Rishi, your mad budget, out of control Should be used for the poor Why are you wasting it? You could give maybe Hope to millions or more People who ar...
NO HOSANNA FOR RISHI Transposition of “Hosanna” Jesus Christ Superstar, 1970, by Sir Tim Rice and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber © Paolo Bolzoni, 24 October 2022 Hosanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna No! Sanna Hey Sanna No! Hey Rishi we’ll never stand by you Sanna Hosanna No! Hey Rishi you’re a bad star Listen Rishi get out now, we anticipate a riot Can’t you see the markets’re scared at what you’ll do Brexit we’ll bring us down completely The mob who follow you are fools and they are wrong They are a curse, they must disperse Hosanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna No! Sanna Hey Sanna No! Hey Rishi we’ll never support you Sanna Hosanna No! Hey Rishi you’re a bad star Britain is not yet dead, we’ll keep on fighting Nothing can be done to stop us shouting Britain’s glory hasn’t perished If every tongue were stilled The noise would still continue The rocks and stones themselves would start to sing Hosanna Hey Sanna Sanna Sanna No! Sanna Hey Sanna No! Hey Rishi we just don’t want you Sanna Hosanna No! Hey Rishi ...
I wrote this Wednesday evening, an hour before Boris the buffoon pulled out. What a shame… COULD I SCREW YOU AGAIN, PLEASE? © Sir Tim Rice 1970 and Paolo Bolzoni, 23 October 2022 I’ve been living to screw you Dying to screw you, but the Cons got rid of me This was unexpected, what do I do now Could I screw Britain again, please? I've been very hopeful so far Now I really think they’ve voted wrong Hurry up and vote for me, this is just my dream To screw Britain again, please? I think you've made your point weeks ago You've even gone a bit too far to send me away Before it gets too frightening, you ought to vote for me now So, could I screw you again, please? A lizard took my place I had to drop my crown, but she’s just a fool As we all expected, Larry kicked her out So, let me screw you again, please? Let me screw Britain again, please? I think the markets made their point now They’ve even gone a bit too far to sink the pound Before it recovers, we ought to sink the country...
PRINSJESDAG: MILJOENENNOTA 2023 PRIORITEITEN EERST! Centen, centen, centen? Neen, mensen en onze toekomst eerst! Regeren is een kwestie van kiezen tussen prioriteiten. In de laatste jaren, het Kabinet heeft gekozen voor zuinigheid, vermindering van investering en verlaging van inkomsten en winst belasting. De meest recente cijfers: Overheidsschuld tov BBP (EU-drempel 60% van het BBP) Maart 2022 50.7% December 2021 52.1% December 2020 54.3% Begrotingstekort tot BBP (EU-drempel 3% van het BBP) December 2021 2.5% December 2020 3.7% Overheidsuitgaven naar BBP December 2021 46.6% December 2020 47.8% Het resultaat? AOW-uitkering niet voldoende Bezuinigingen in de zorg = zorg puinhoop Bezuinigingen in onderwijs = onderwijs puinhoop Bezuinigingen in infrastructuur = wegen en spoor puinhoop Bezuinigingen politie = problemen voor veiligheid Maar, budget defensie (voor de oorlog) = omhoog Begrotingstekort is niets anders dan schulden verschoven naar toekomstige generaties. Maar, wat voor toeko...
20 SEPTEMBER, PRINSJESDAG: DUTCH NATIONAL BUDGET FOR 2023 GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT! Pennies, pennies, pennies? No, the people and our future first! Governing is a matter of choosing between priorities. In recent years, the Netherlands Cabinet have opted for reduction of public expenditure, reduction of public investment and reduction of income and corporate tax. The most recent figures are: Government debt to GDP (EU threshold 60% of GDP) March 2022 50.7% Dec 2021 52.1% Dec 2020 54.3% Budget deficit to GDP (EU threshold 3% of GDP) Dec 2021 2.5% Dec 2020 3.7% Government spending by GDP Dec 2021 46.6% Dec 2020 47.8% The result? Public pension benefits are not adequate Healthcare cuts = public care is in a mess Cuts in education = education is in a mess Infrastructure cuts = roads and rail are in a mess Police cuts = problems with public security But, defence budget (before the war) = increased Budget deficit is nothing but debt shifted to future generations. But, what future will the...
TO A GREAT LEADER He is a great leader, his soul is black He grew up red, but freedom is what he whacks He loves to drink, but the fluid must be red A master scholar, the champion of bloodshed He rides naked, his belt is black He is a strong, virile chap He speaks nothing else than crap He is never cold, doesn’t need gas He cuts the pipelines, leaves the world in a mess Nobel Prize for the Environment surely he’ll get He loves cereals, but not for bread Just to fill us all with dread To starve the poor of the world To enrich his pals in the underworld Got a problem? You’ll be dead Worth 200 billion, not exactly a Karl Marx Mega yachts, a “modest” dacha palace to relax Poor Bill Gates is just a tramp Of all evils he is the champ Lovely chap, for oligarchs the crumbs to snack Cannons, bombs, planes and tanks To buy with plenty of money in the banks Great display at the military parades All saluting him in orderly brigades West, for all your weapons many thanks Holy Motherland, you are di...
OPEN LETTER TO A RIGHT HONOURABLE (She/Her) LIZ, LUV, In the unluckiest event you’ll make it to PM, I decided to help you with the easy task to form your Cabinet. Now luv, off you go to the Queen with my list. Be a very humble girl. Her Majesty is a lovely lady who truly cares about her subjects. All she desires is care, equality, justice and freedom for all. DON’T break a leg, Paolo @Liberal Democrats @Scottish National Party (SNP) @The Labour Party *** THE NEW UK CABINET *** STATEMENT BY THE PRIME MINISTER “Today, Britain enters a new era. New values will bless our great country. Britons are finally freed from all social crap and of the care for the commoners. There shall be justice for all those who deserve it. We aim at scrapping all public services and pensions. We shall continue to sack civil servants. I shall not rest till Parliament become an assembly under my command. PM question time will allow only one question, of course, asked by me: “Am I Britain’s saviour?”, followe...
The Gospel according to Paolo I was once sitting on top of a hill next to Jesus. He was telling the parable of the chap in Downing Street 10 who spent his life telling lies. I told Jesus: “Forgive him Lord, for he is just a buffoon, he does not realise what he says”. Jesus turned to me and said: “You just pulled words out of my mouth. Let’s have a pint, mate”. In the pub, everyone looked and pointed at me (of course nobody knew Jesus, he was not a resident in the pub), but nobody dared to speak to me. I told Jesus: “See old boy, they are Boris’ Cabinet, they just keep their mouth shut”. Amen © Paolo Bolzoni, 16 February 2022
COMUNICATO DELLA PRESIDENZA DELLA REPUBBLICA A SEGUITO DELLE DIMISSIONI DI MARIO DRAGHI © Paolo Bolzoni, 24 luglio 2022. Oggi, 24 luglio 2022, i membri del nuovo Consiglio dei Ministri hanno giurato fedeltà alla Repubblica ed alla Costituzione davanti al Presidente Sergio Mattarella. Per fronteggiare la tragica emergenza seguita alle dimissioni di Mario Draghi il 21 luglio 2022, il Presidente Mattarella ha scelto tutti i Ministri senza perdere tempo in inutili consultazioni con partiti ormai trasformati da miopi in ciechi. Solo i Senatori a vita sono stati invitati per piangere insieme ed a consolarsi con un buon grappino. Tutti i Ministri NON sono membri della Camera dei Deputati o del Senato della Repubblica, e non sono iscritti a partiti politici. Tutti i Deputati e Senatori hanno approvato senza fiatare. Al termine della cerimonia, il Presidente Sergio Mattarella ha dichiarato:
“Per la prima volta nella storia della Repubblica, tutti i ministri sono persone competenti, esper...