Paolo Bolzoni

MORT 84 – TUTTA LA MORTE MINUTO PER MINUTO © Paolo Bolzoni, luglio 2024 La Mort di Trieste, famosa nel mondo per le sue tombe, scongiuri e acque benedette, vi presenta “Tutta la morte minuto per minuto”. Mort 84, la tomba famosa del mondo. BORTOLUZZI Maledetto pomeriggio 🖕, cari radioascoltatori, qui è Roberto Bortoluzzi che vi parla dalla tomba centrale. Subito i risultati del primo scontro: A Bologna, cimitero della Certosa, Basilischi - Arpie 1-0 Arbitra il signor Alario Ippogrifo di Ferrara A Cagliari, cimitero di Bonaria, Meduse - Minotauri 1-1 Arbitra il signor Orlando di Roncisvalle A Genova, cimitero Staglino, Lupi Mannari - Vampiri 1-2 Arbitra il signor Tre Cerbero di Canile A Milano, cimitero Musocco, Orfanelli - Martinitt 0-0 Arbitra il signor Concetto Lo Brutto di Siracusa A Napoli, cimitero di Poggioreale, partita giocata al cimitero neutro Condera di Reggio Calabria A Roma, cimitero della Lupa, Camera - Senato 317-216 (n

MADAMA LA MISSINA Trasposizione da "Tout va très bien, Madame la Marquise" (1936) © Paolo Bolzoni, luglio 2024 Dedicato a tutti gli italiani che non meritano di avere “Vota Giorgia” a Palazzo Chigi. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfHCvVqF3bo Allora Ignazio, che c'è di nuovo, Cos'è accaduto quando ero via? Voglio sapere che cosa trovo Quando a casa ritornerò.   Tutto va mal, Madama la Missina, Va tutto mal, va tutto mal, Però ti attende una sorpresa, Che dir non posso fare a men: Un cosa banal, meschina, Ti ha deriso la vecchia tedeschina; A parte ciò, Madama la Missina, Va tutto mal, va tutto mal.   Li mortacci sua, sta meschina, Mó mi faccio la francesina, Raduna i camerati, servo fidato, Questa volta mi ha scocciato.   Tutto va mal, mia amata sorellina, Tutto va mal, va tutto mal, Però ti attende ancora una sorpresa, Che dir non posso fare a men: Matteo quel pirla di Salvini, Ricomincia a far casini; A parte ciò, mia amata sorellina, Va tutto mal, va tutto mal.   L

IL CIRCO DI GIORGIA RIUNIONE IN VIDEO DEL GRUPPO PRIVATO WHATSAPP “LA FAMIGLIA”. TOP SECRET. © Paolo Bolzoni, luglio 2024. IL CIRCO DI GIORGIA Tutti i partecipanti erano membri del Governo degli Orrori alla data di pubblicazione. Con la partecipazione straordinaria di Elly Schlein, Arianna Meloni, Roberto Vannacci. Ma che aspettate a battergli le mani A gridare boo boo dai balconi È arrivato il governo dei ciarlatani I veri clown pagati dagli italiani Venite tutti a Palazzo Chigi fra due ore Vi riempirete le orecchie di vane parole La gola di gemiti di orrore E il cuor per paura farà tremila capriole. All they need are lies, da da da da da All they need are lies, da da da da da All they need are lies, lies, And they’ll vote for us! 🤪 Tutti gli adulti hanno abbandonato il gruppo. Giorgia: preghiamo. Duce nostro che sei all’inferno Sia santificato il Tuo nome Venga il Tuo Regno sia fatta la Tua volontà Come a Predappio così a Roma Dacci oggi la nostra menzogna quotidiana Rimetti a noi i

  A TAROT MAJOR ARCANA JOURNEY TO TRUMP’s HELL © Paolo Bolzoni, June 2024 Pictures credit: Rider-Waite Tarot Deck Soundtrack Carl Orff - Carmina Buriana Biden Satàn, Biden Satàn Aleppe! Trump barked in a cackling voice Abandon all hope, ye who vote Vote for me and you’ll see fear in the land Vote for me and you’ll go into eternal pain Vote for me and you’ll live in Hell For freedom must be destroyed For democracy must be wiped out Hate and discrimination must prevail These dark frightening words Shouted Trump with a hoarse voice And his savvy puppet master Putin applauded. DON’T LET IT COME SO FAR. VOTE WISELY ON 5 NOVEMBER! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnuyBTCamU0

In 2029… Could we join again, please? BRITAIN REJOINS THE EU © PAOLO BOLZONI, JUNE 2024 BREAKING NEWS MILLIONS OF BRITONS TAKE TO THE STREETS Ce n'est qu'un début, continuons le combat! Nous voulons réintégrer l'Union Européenne! Devastated by the consequences of Brexit, Fed up with the denials of this Cabinet, Angry at Labour’s failure to face reality… Tens millions of Britons take to the streets Holding mass demonstrations all over Britain Furious for being laughed at the Commons, The Britons marched to Westminster Waving Europe flags chanting Forward Britons to the rescue We want to rejoin, we belong to the EU What are we here for? What do we want? REJOIN THE EUROPEAN UNION! Hey shout it here, shout it there, Shout it everywhere Join us, altogether Shout, shout, shout REJOIN THE EU! NEWS UPDATE - JULY 2024 With the Conservatives wiped out, Labour halved, and the Commons controlled by the Liberal Democrats, the bill Rejoin passed Free travel and free trade resumed The NHS

 PLAY THE EUROPEAN UNION ANTHEM AND FLY THE EUROPEAN FLAG AT ALL SPORT EVENTS The national anthem is played at all sport events where national teams compete. At the medal ceremony, the national flag of the gold medallist is raised while playing the national anthem. Should the European Union anthem be played immediately after the national anthem when the team of an European Union's member compete? Should the Europe flag be raised together with the national flag when the gold medallist represents a member of the European Union? Will both send a strong signal of unity, and a celebration of the European Union’s five fundamental values? FREEDOM DEMOCRACY EQUALITY RULE OF LAW HUMAN RIGHTS The Europe flag, adopted by the European Union in 1985, is flown or displayed in all public buildings, government institutions, ministries, town halls, and embassies/consulates of the European Union members. The European anthem is the 4th movement of the 9th symphony, Ode to Joy, by Ludwig van Beethoven

EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT ELECTIONS 2024 PRESIDENTS MATTARELLA, STEINMEIER AND VAN DER BELLEN: «WE URGE YOU VOTE IN THE EUROPEAN ELECTIONS, THIS IS HOW DEMOCRACY IS DEFENDED» Statement published by Corriere della Sera on 10 May 2024. The joint declaration is signed by the Italian, German and Austrian Presidents. 75 million civilians and soldiers lost their lives to free Europe from the horror of Fascism and Nazism. They died because of deliberate genocide, massacres, mass-bombings, disease, and starvation. The European far right national and populist parties seemingly don’t care about the tragedy, horror, and devastation of World War II. The European far right parties aim at the destruction of the fundamental values of the European Union. Read this noble statement, and think carefully before you cast your vote. Honour the lives of the 75 million victims! “Our three countries know that once democracy is achieved it is not guaranteed, and that exasperated nationalism generates war. It is not s

BREAKING NEWS RISHI SUNAK SELLS RATS © Paolo Bolzoni, April 2024 Devastated by the public uproar caused by the bribes to, and illegal financing of, the Conservatives, Rishi Sunak set up RATS PLC. The Board of Directors consists of: Chairman - Narendra Modi, Executive - Director Akshata Murty, Director and Chief Financial Robber - Jeremy Hunt, Director and Chief Clown - Rishi Sunak. The company is listed on the Bombay and Moscow Robber Exchange. 99% of the share capital are floating shares. Launched with a massive 500 million quids campaign, financed by Londongrad, RATS PLC sells rats to fund the Conservative Party. The rats on offer come in three flavours: 1. No name rats at 59.99 quids each. 2. Premium “Sir Ed” rats at 999.99 quids each. Premium rats come with the guarantee of a Knighthood. 3. Grand “Sir Keir” rats at 9,999,99 quids each. Grand rats come with the guarantee of a Life Peerage at the Lords. To save on cattle maintenance, the rats were intended to feed the small boats ref

BREAKING NEWS BANKRUPT DONALD TRUMP SELLS RATS © Paolo Bolzoni, April 2024 The six times bankrupt Donald Trump, now on the edge of the last, and fatal bankruptcy, set up RATS INC. Launched with a massive $500 million campaign, the company sells rats at $59.99. The rats, all named Joe, are to be fed to the vultures which infest his Mar-o-Liar cave. Only 6 rats were sold, all at the discounted price of $1 cent, to Melania, Ivanka, Jared, Donald Jr, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Governor De Santis. Meanwhile, sued by all TV channels and newspapers for unpaid ads bills, and expropriated of all his assets, Donald Trump tours the Republican mansions, begging like a tramp for a meal. Furious at the failure, the 150,000,000+ members of the Rats United militia marched to Capitol Hill, and surrounded Congress and Senate, chanting: Forward rats, to the rescue We ain’t Joe, we’re Donald Long live hate, trash freedom! Who's the leader of the riot That's God sent for you and me? D-O-N-A-L-D T-

2 NOVEMBRE Dedicato a tutti i politici ingrassati dalle loro menzogne. Da uno dei mie spettacoli di cabaret a Milano, dove mi sono esibito con altri dilettanti, con un monologo su fatti e persone noti a tutti gli spettatori. Ero uno studente di 18 anni. Seduta in prima fila una signora bassa ma super obesa, occupava due sedie, una per chiappa, sembrava la Gertrude, direttrice del collegio di Gian Burrasca. Seduto di fianco, il marito, alto, allampanato, baffi rivoltati all’insù, sembrava Stanislao, direttore del collegio di Gian Burrasca. Gertrude era ingioiellata, il profumo (lezzo) che si spandeva per tutta la sala, faccia da carogna, occhi iniettati di sangue. Comincio il mio monologo, gli spettatori si divertivano, risate a scena aperta, ecc. La Gertrude, venuta solo per disturbare, ha cominciato ad interrompermi: Basta, Muchela che fai pena, (Gli spettatori “la smetta signora, ci stiamo divertendo”) La Gertrude avanti con gli insulti. Vai a lavorare lazzarone, Pirla, ci ha

2 NOVEMBER Dedicated to all fat cats politicians. Gertrude and Stanislao are two characters in The Diary of Hurricane Johnny. 2 November is All Souls' Day. From one of my cabaret shows in Milan where I performed with other amateurs, with a monologue on facts and people known to all spectators. I was an 18-year-old student. Sitting in the front row was a short, but extra large obese woman, she sat on two chairs, one for each butt, she looked like Gertrude, headmaster of Hurricane Johnny’s college. Sitting next to her was her husband, tall, lanky, moustache turned upwards, he looked like Stanislao, headmaster of Hurricane Johnny’s college. Gertrude was bejewelled, her scent (stink) wafting throughout the room, carrion face, her eyes bloodshot. I began my monologue, the spectators were having fun, open laughter, etc. Gertrude, who had come only to insult, began to interrupt me: Enough of this crap, Stop it, you are pitiful, (The spectators “stop it ma'am, we're having f

LA MELONEIDE Trasposizione di “La Badogliede” © Paolo Bolzoni, gennaio 2024 O Meloni, Giorgia Meloni Ingrassata dai voti di destra Col tuo degno compagno Ignazio Hai alzato troppo la testa E ci hai già rotto abbastanza i coglion Ti ricordi quand'eri missina E facevi il saluto romano Ad Almirante stringevi la mano Erede di Borghese e Graziani Tu Benito non l’hai fucilato Ma ne hai seguito fedele l’esempio Dei nostri sacri valori hai fatto scempio E festeggi il tuo nuovo poter Ti ricordi l'impresa in Tunisia Con Ursula e con Mark Rutte Meritavi di prender l'ameba Ed invece hai sborsato i nostri milion Ti ricordi i naufraghi mandati alla morte Il traghetto veniva dalla Grecia Avete ordinato di lasciarli crepare E centinaia son morti, peccato, che brutta sorte Ti ricordi la gita in Albania Per pagare il pizzo a Rama Ed allora per farti più bella L’hai invitato anche a Roma Ti ricordi i comizi in piazza Con Salvini in terra Padana Siete proprio due tristi figure Meritate di p