2 NOVEMBER
Dedicated to all fat cats politicians.
Gertrude and Stanislao are two characters in The Diary of Hurricane Johnny.
2 November is All Souls' Day.
From
one of my cabaret shows in Milan where I performed with other amateurs,
with a monologue on facts and people known to all spectators.
I was an 18-year-old student.
Sitting
in the front row was a short, but extra large obese woman, she sat on
two chairs, one for each butt, she looked like Gertrude, headmaster of
Hurricane Johnny’s college.
Sitting next to her was her
husband, tall, lanky, moustache turned upwards, he looked like
Stanislao, headmaster of Hurricane Johnny’s college.
Gertrude was bejewelled, her scent (stink) wafting throughout the room, carrion face, her eyes bloodshot.
I began my monologue, the spectators were having fun, open laughter, etc.
Gertrude, who had come only to insult, began to interrupt me:
Enough of this crap,
Stop it, you are pitiful,
(The spectators “stop it ma'am, we're having fun”)
Gertrude continued with her insults.
Go to work, you rascal,
You fool, you pissed me off!
At
this point I lost my patience, I stared at her and, with a very sweet
smile, I told her: “Ma'am, you are absolutely right, I apologise. I'm
out of the way, I'm sorry I ruined your evening. I wish you a lovely
time."
I started going down the three steps of the
stage, I stopped on the second step, and smiling, I asked her “Forgive
me for asking, ma'am, but, on 2 November, are you going to visit the
pork butcher?"
Ice silence in the room for a few seconds.
Then an open ovation, American-style whistles, everyone standing and applauding.
Gertrude didn't understand, she looked around.
Stanislao whispered in her ear.
Gertrude turned purple with anger, she got up, and she headed towards the exit, walking like a shaking round cup.
A rhythmic clapping of hands accompanied her exit.
I've never had so much fun doing stand-up cabaret.
P.S. Should you not understand the pun, please ask me.
COMUNICATO DELLA PRESIDENZA DELLA REPUBBLICA A SEGUITO DELLE DIMISSIONI DI MARIO DRAGHI © Paolo Bolzoni, 24 luglio 2022. Oggi, 24 luglio 2022, i membri del nuovo Consiglio dei Ministri hanno giurato fedeltà alla Repubblica ed alla Costituzione davanti al Presidente Sergio Mattarella. Per fronteggiare la tragica emergenza seguita alle dimissioni di Mario Draghi il 21 luglio 2022, il Presidente Mattarella ha scelto tutti i Ministri senza perdere tempo in inutili consultazioni con partiti ormai trasformati da miopi in ciechi. Solo i Senatori a vita sono stati invitati per piangere insieme ed a consolarsi con un buon grappino. Tutti i Ministri NON sono membri della Camera dei Deputati o del Senato della Repubblica, e non sono iscritti a partiti politici. Tutti i Deputati e Senatori hanno approvato senza fiatare. Al termine della cerimonia, il Presidente Sergio Mattarella ha dichiarato:
“Per la prima volta nella storia della Repubblica, tutti i ministri sono persone competenti, esper...
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