By

BREAKING NEWS
RISHI SUNAK SELLS RATS
© Paolo Bolzoni, April 2024

Devastated by the public uproar caused by the bribes to, and illegal financing of, the Conservatives, Rishi Sunak set up RATS PLC.
The Board of Directors consists of:
Chairman - Narendra Modi,
Executive - Director Akshata Murty,
Director and Chief Financial Robber - Jeremy Hunt,
Director and Chief Clown - Rishi Sunak.

The company is listed on the Bombay and Moscow Robber Exchange.
99% of the share capital are floating shares.
Launched with a massive 500 million quids campaign, financed by Londongrad, RATS PLC sells rats to fund the Conservative Party.

The rats on offer come in three flavours:
1. No name rats at 59.99 quids each.
2. Premium “Sir Ed” rats at 999.99 quids each. Premium rats come with the guarantee of a Knighthood.
3. Grand “Sir Keir” rats at 9,999,99 quids each. Grand rats come with the guarantee of a Life Peerage at the Lords.

To save on cattle maintenance, the rats were intended to feed the small boats refugees waiting for deportation to Rwanda.
Following the widespread uproar against the Rwanda plan, Haiti agreed to purchase the refugees at 50 pence each, as practice shooting target for street gangs.
The rats will keep the small boats refugees alive during the deportation in cattle cargo to the Haitian paradise.

NEWS UPDATE

Only the members of the 1922 Committee, and Akshata Murty, purchased the rats, all at the discounted price of 1 quid.

The small boat refugees went on hunger strike, chanting:
“We are not cannibals, we won’t eat our siblings!”

The Conservative Party, sued by all TV channels and newspapers for unpaid ads bills, went bankrupt, was dissolved, and will have no candidates at the upcoming General Election.

Rishi Sunak fled to Modi, and performs as court buffoon.
Akshata Murty fled to Miami, and became adviser to Donald Trump.
Liz-ard Trust and Cruella Evilman had a sumptuous free meal.

RISHI SUNAK SELLS RATS 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

By
COMUNICATO DELLA PRESIDENZA DELLA REPUBBLICA A SEGUITO DELLE DIMISSIONI DI MARIO DRAGHI   © Paolo Bolzoni, 24 luglio 2022. Oggi, 24 luglio 2022, i membri del nuovo Consiglio dei Ministri hanno giurato fedeltà alla Repubblica ed alla Costituzione davanti al Presidente Sergio Mattarella. Per fronteggiare la tragica emergenza seguita alle dimissioni di Mario Draghi il 21 luglio 2022, il Presidente Mattarella ha scelto tutti i Ministri senza perdere tempo in inutili consultazioni con partiti ormai trasformati da miopi in ciechi. Solo i Senatori a vita sono stati invitati per piangere insieme ed a consolarsi con un buon grappino. Tutti i Ministri NON sono membri della Camera dei Deputati o del Senato della Repubblica, e non sono iscritti a partiti politici. Tutti i Deputati e Senatori hanno approvato senza fiatare. Al termine della cerimonia, il Presidente Sergio Mattarella ha dichiarato: 
“Per la prima volta nella storia della Repubblica, tutti i ministri sono persone competenti, esper...
Read more
By
 FOUR-MINUTES LONG STANDING OVATION FOR PRESIDENT SERGIO MATTARELLA. Yesterday, 7 December 2022, Maestro Riccardo Chailly inaugurated the 2022/2023 season at La Scala in Milan, and conducted Modest Mussorgsky’s “Boris Godunov”. Upon his entrance to the “Royal Box”, the President of the Italian Republic Sergio Mattarella was welcomed by a four-minutes long standing ovation. The audience, 2,000 selected guests (politicians, artists, Nobel Prize winners, musicians, journalists, etc.) kept on shouting ‘“GRAZIE PRESIDENTE” and “BRAVO”. Next to President Mattarella, you can see the President of the European Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, the Lord Mayor of Milan, the President of the Italian Senate and the Italian Prime Minister. Immediately after, Maestro Chailly conducted the Italian national hymn AND the European Union hymn. To remind you, President Mattarella was re-elected on 29 January 2022, after SEVEN voting rounds, where none of the candidates received the required vote quorum...
Read more
By
22 LIARS IN LINES FOR FOUR WITH REMINDER OF TWO This six years old child, who won the children’s song contest in 1968, is by far smarter than this Cabinet of fools. In the dungeon of Number 10 22 liars without shame Organised a meeting To sink the UK 22 liars in lines for four with the remainder of two In Number 10 telling Britons fuck you They met in secret In lines for four with the remainder of two Counting the bribes In lines for four with the remainder of two With foam in the mouth In line for four with the remainder of two They sold Britain off In lines for four with the remainder of two They told all the poor Who starve in the streets And ask for one meal a day And dream to sleep under a roof Millions in line for a meal And a rest under a roof Ehi, fuck off you They met in secret In lines for four with the remainder of two With slimy hands In lines for four with the remainder of two When at the end of the meeting The situation was defined The ...
Read more
By
  Il 21 aprile, Il Presidente del Senato Ignazio La Russa ha dichiarato: “Nella Costituzione non c’è l’antifascismo.” Dopo le tante polemiche, ha rincarato la dose: “Non mi pento, riaffermo che nella Costituzione non c’è l’antifascismo.” Affermazione terrificante! Tutte le critiche, pienamente giustificate, da parte della stampa e da tutti i partiti politici, deputati e senatori, non hanno accennato alla cosa più ovvia: COSTITUZIONE DELLA REPUBBLICA ITALIANA Disposizioni Transitorie e Finali XII “È vietata la riorganizzazione, sotto qualsiasi forma, del disciolto partito fascista.” Il Presidente del Senato è la seconda carica della Repubblica, e, in caso di gravi impedimenti del Presidente Mattarella, potrebbe essere chiamato in qualsiasi momento a sostituirlo. Articolo 86 della Costituzione: “Le funzioni del Presidente della Repubblica, in ogni caso che egli non possa adempierle, sono esercitate dal Presidente del Senato.” Il Presidente della Repubblica è il GARANTE della ...
Read more
By
BREAKING NEWS BANKRUPT DONALD TRUMP SELLS RATS © Paolo Bolzoni, April 2024 The six times bankrupt Donald Trump, now on the edge of the last, and fatal bankruptcy, set up RATS INC. Launched with a massive $500 million campaign, the company sells rats at $59.99. The rats, all named Joe, are to be fed to the vultures which infest his Mar-o-Liar cave. Only 6 rats were sold, all at the discounted price of $1 cent, to Melania, Ivanka, Jared, Donald Jr, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Governor De Santis. Meanwhile, sued by all TV channels and newspapers for unpaid ads bills, and expropriated of all his assets, Donald Trump tours the Republican mansions, begging like a tramp for a meal. Furious at the failure, the 150,000,000+ members of the Rats United militia marched to Capitol Hill, and surrounded Congress and Senate, chanting: Forward rats, to the rescue We ain’t Joe, we’re Donald Long live hate, trash freedom! Who's the leader of the riot That's God sent for you and me? D-O-N-A-L-D T-...
Read more
By
MORT 84 – TUTTA LA MORTE MINUTO PER MINUTO © Paolo Bolzoni, luglio 2024 La Mort di Trieste, famosa nel mondo per le sue tombe, scongiuri e acque benedette, vi presenta “Tutta la morte minuto per minuto”. Mort 84, la tomba famosa del mondo. BORTOLUZZI Maledetto pomeriggio 🖕, cari radioascoltatori, qui è Roberto Bortoluzzi che vi parla dalla tomba centrale. Subito i risultati del primo scontro: A Bologna, cimitero della Certosa, Basilischi - Arpie 1-0 Arbitra il signor Alario Ippogrifo di Ferrara A Cagliari, cimitero di Bonaria, Meduse - Minotauri 1-1 Arbitra il signor Orlando di Roncisvalle A Genova, cimitero Staglino, Lupi Mannari - Vampiri 1-2 Arbitra il signor Tre Cerbero di Canile A Milano, cimitero Musocco, Orfanelli - Martinitt 0-0 Arbitra il signor Concetto Lo Brutto di Siracusa A Napoli, cimitero di Poggioreale, partita giocata al cimitero neutro Condera di Reggio Calabria A Roma, cimitero della Lupa, Camera - Senato 317-216 (n...
Read more

LIVING SPACE (RESILIENCE)

By
LIVING SPACE (RESILIENCE) By Caecilia Johanna van Peski Peski, C.J. van (2024). Leefruimte (Veerkracht). In: Marineblad (KVMO) 5 – 2024/134, pp. 18-19. Jerusalem, Israel, June 16, 2024 “ Ibrahim, your bird is in a cage that is much too small!”, I exclaim to my Palestinian friend. We are drinking tea together this morning on the sidewalk in front of his shop. I measure the cage with the wooden bars by eye. A carpenter’s eye is not needed for this assessment; anyone can see that the cage is much too small for the bird. The animal hops nervously back and forth on its tiny stick. A few centimetres to the left, a few centimetres to the right, there is no more room to move. The bird cannot even spread its wings; the confines of the cage that is too narrow do not allow that. ‘ What kind of bird is it?’ I ask further, while I watch the restless hopping back and forth of the bird. ‘A rose-finch,’ Ibrahim answers. ‘Do you see the red head, chest and rump? Beauti...
Read more
By
EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT ELECTIONS 2024 PRESIDENTS MATTARELLA, STEINMEIER AND VAN DER BELLEN: «WE URGE YOU VOTE IN THE EUROPEAN ELECTIONS, THIS IS HOW DEMOCRACY IS DEFENDED» Statement published by Corriere della Sera on 10 May 2024. The joint declaration is signed by the Italian, German and Austrian Presidents. 75 million civilians and soldiers lost their lives to free Europe from the horror of Fascism and Nazism. They died because of deliberate genocide, massacres, mass-bombings, disease, and starvation. The European far right national and populist parties seemingly don’t care about the tragedy, horror, and devastation of World War II. The European far right parties aim at the destruction of the fundamental values of the European Union. Read this noble statement, and think carefully before you cast your vote. Honour the lives of the 75 million victims! “Our three countries know that once democracy is achieved it is not guaranteed, and that exasperated nationalism generates war. It is not s...
Read more
By
2 NOVEMBRE Dedicato a tutti i politici ingrassati dalle loro menzogne. Da uno dei mie spettacoli di cabaret a Milano, dove mi sono esibito con altri dilettanti, con un monologo su fatti e persone noti a tutti gli spettatori. Ero uno studente di 18 anni. Seduta in prima fila una signora bassa ma super obesa, occupava due sedie, una per chiappa, sembrava la Gertrude, direttrice del collegio di Gian Burrasca. Seduto di fianco, il marito, alto, allampanato, baffi rivoltati all’insù, sembrava Stanislao, direttore del collegio di Gian Burrasca. Gertrude era ingioiellata, il profumo (lezzo) che si spandeva per tutta la sala, faccia da carogna, occhi iniettati di sangue. Comincio il mio monologo, gli spettatori si divertivano, risate a scena aperta, ecc. La Gertrude, venuta solo per disturbare, ha cominciato ad interrompermi: Basta, Muchela che fai pena, (Gli spettatori “la smetta signora, ci stiamo divertendo”) La Gertrude avanti con gli insulti. Vai a lavorare lazzarone, Pirla, ci ha...
Read more